Tuesday, December 29, 2009


“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”
--William Arther Ward

We are a few days off from the New Year, but I'm counting down the days. 2009 was something we would have never expected. It brought me to my knees, and that was only two months in. You can imagine that I wanted to be as far away from this year as possible. My heart was broken into a million pieces this year, and can only hope and pray 2010 will bring us a better year. I am optimistic as we enter this new year. I feel myself entering a place that I haven't been in many moons it seems. I saw a baby today and she made me smile...I touched her tiny hands and soft feet and she made me giddy. I want this so bad, and I realized for the first time in 10 months a baby hasn't made me want to turn and run away screaming. I am beyond excited to start this new year. I am hopeful once again. In 7 days we will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary!

We took down our tree today..I have come to the conclusion that I do not believe this causes bad luck. I actually held off on taking down my tree a few days for fear of this. However today in my optimistic state I decided we will make our own luck this year. I think it will be a tradition of ours now to take down the tree prior to the New Year...especially this year. As I packed everything away today I prayed with everything in me that next year there will be a little one to celebrate with us.

This year I'm doing something a little different. I'm making some resolutions. I don't usually make them, because in prior years when I have they are broken before the month is over. However this year I feel like I need to get myself back on track. You can call these resolutions...you can call these goals...all I know is they are what I would like to accomplish this year.

1. To have a healthy pregnancy

2. Take an online class or two! That's right it's time to get back to school! I have been out way too long, and need to finish/work on my degree!

3. Learn to relax again! Tight shoulders are never any fun!

4. Spend less time on the computer and open up more books!

5. Organize my house and keep it organized!

6. Tone/strengthen my body--gotta get baby ready after all!

7. Learn more cake decorating techniques and learn to decorate cookies with royal icing!

8. Enjoy spending time with my husband and kids! Hopefully dedicating at least one night a week to family fun night!

9. and last but not least...start attending church again. After the lost of Bryanna I had so many questions and felt like the only place I could be close enough for God to hear them was sitting in church. I want our family to be involved in church.

More then anything I just want to get my life back on track this year...become the me that was lost in 2009. I want to smile a little more and cry a little less! I like this optimistic me, and hope she stays around a little longer!

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