It's been awhile

I'm a horrible blogger. It's been two weeks since my last post. Last week seemed promising though. I went on a job testing thing on Tuesday, Wednesday I got a call back for an interview, and Thursday I went in for an interview and a drug test. As I sat there talking I had the job! I was excited about the job. I was finally going to get out of the house again and out of this brain of mine that can become a dark abyss. Training started on Monday, but I couldn't. She said she was more then positive they would have a second round of training. I contacted her on Tuesday and they said they would not. I was bummed. I felt sad and rejected that day. I heard "Everything happens for a reason." I know I use to live by this saying, and in most cases its great to hear, however when something doesn't go your way you would like nothing better then to poke your eyes out. I will however pick up and carry on just like I have for the past 9 months. So now I'm back to square one on the job front. Joy for me!

Other then that I had such high hopes for this month. I had run across tons of cute Halloween recipes I knew I had to try out, and in all honesty I have tried one of the millions I waned to bake! Tomorrow will be a baking day as well, and I have two recipes in mind I would love to make, but one for sure I will do. However I made some amazing Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies. I'm not even sure i've ever had chocolate chips with pumpkin, but as soon as I heard of the combo I knew I had to try it out! Can I just say they were amazing! Bryan and the kids were a HUGE fan of them, and that makes for a happy mommy! Here is the recipe you should definitely try it out!



CHOCOLATE CHIP PUMPKIN COOKIES

1 sm. can pumpkin
2 tsp. baking soda
4 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
4 c. flour
2 c. sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 tbsp. milk
1 c. oil
2 tsp. vanilla
6 oz. real chocolate chips
1 c. chopped nuts (optional)

Combine all ingredients. Mix well. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in 375 degree oven for 10-12 minutes. Watch carefully; when bottoms are well browned, remove from oven and cool.

**recipe found on Cooks.com**

Awareness Day

Today I participated in Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness day. It's a day that I hope and pray no one ever has to experience. Last year at this time I was wondering if I myself could be pregnant, and of course exactly five days later I would find out I was. While filled with fear it was the happiest 20 weeks of my life. I did walk around praying that I would be able to carry our baby to term and have a beautiful healthy child. Once I passed my first trimester mark I felt it was actually happening! I avoided looking at pregnancy loss ribbons or myspace pages, because I felt if I didn't look at it then it couldn't happen to me. I felt something that horrific could never happen to us. I had friends who had lost babies later in their pregnancy, but I couldn't think of that...I couldn't be bothered with the facts of it. It was a very unfortunate event for them..not me. However in an instant I realized it can happen to anyone. In the blink of an eye the dreams of our baby girl were shattered. Something was wrong and she was coming and would not survive because she was too young. I was and still am broken hearted. I will never get over the loss of my child, and wish that no one would ever go through what we have been through. Of course I have learned different...I have been opened up to a whole new world. A world where parent's do die before their children, and life isn't as you expect it to be.

I took some time today to reflect on the short time we had with Bryanna, and what her life may have looked like. I miss my baby so much...I wish more then anything she was here today instead of in Heaven. I wish I was holding her today instead of lighting a candle for her..but this is how our life has played out. A good friend, who is pregnant, emailed me today and told me she feels like Bryanna is her baby's angel. It took me by surprised but made me smile knowing that she thought like that. If Bryanna is Karen's baby's angel then I know one day she will be our baby's angel as well.

Anyway, my heart goes out to the millions of people who are also very aware of what today was, and for that very reason I lit not only a candle for our baby girl, but also a candle for all the other babies that were lost way too soon.

Bakin' mama

Lately I haven't had much luck with baking. I will find a recipe on line that I'm so excited to try and I end up being disappointed. Baking just hasn't been going my way since I made the apple sauce cake. Such a disappointment. I thew out the majority of the cake, the banana bread while good just didn't bake up great in my oven. I managed to make a really good brownie the other night, the first time ever! However I was back to flops last night with an apple crisp recipe I tried! I learned I am not a fan of nutmeg!

However today I wanted something yummy. I had a box mix to make funfetti cupcakes, and I finally ran across some pumpkin this weekend, but none of those sounded good. So off to google I went again. I ended up finding an amazing site with Snickerdoodle bars. As I read through the recipe I realized I had all the ingredients on hand. Let me just say a few months ago this would not have been the case. I think it's official ya'll I have become a baker! Anyway I went to work on these "bars" The battered smelled amazing and I was so excited! I should explain that snickerdoodles are my FAVORITE cookie! I get overly excited when I walk into a mall and see a cookie stand that has snickerdoodle cookies. Anyway, once they were golden brown I stuck a toothpick in them and it came out clean, so out of the oven the came. I had mixed up a cinnamon sugar blend and sprinkled them with it while still warm. When the cooled we cut into them, and once again I found they didn't bake up like a bar at all. They were like a softer cake! The review said it would be "cakey" so I can only assume that's the way it was supposed to be. Let me just say they were AMAZING! They were everything I wanted them to be. However, next time I try them I think I might keep them in the oven a little longer to see if they get a little harder. But I was very happy and will definitely make them again! Hopefully this means I'm back in business!



By the way ignore the crumbs! It was right after dinner and I hadn't fully cleaned the table yet! Also I'm beginning to realize I need different plates! Off to Ross I go!

Fall Festival

Our housing area is very big on community/family fun. We have never been down to any of them except for of course when they do pizza nights, then we go down and grab our pizza :). However, since I've been so big on fall this year, and the kids knew it was going on we decided to take them. I must also admit that the fact that there was going to be cupcakes kinda won me over as well! What can I say I'm addicted! Bryan and I had a "nice" dinner which included a Philly cheese steak, fries, and of course our cupcake. While it was nothing to write home about it was yummy enough.

The festival included such things as a face painting, hair color, pumpkin painting and a mirror and smoke house. The kids ran around with their friends, and for a moment I thought they would be too "cool" to join in the fun. However soon they jumped in and their friends joined as well. I asked the kids to decorate pumpkins so we could have some decorations!



How cute did those come out! I was pretty impressed! They also painted their face and hair. Bryan and I sat at a table by the pool talking and as the boys went up to get their face painted they were trying very hard to explain to the lady exactly what they wanted. Bryan and I sat patiently and tried to figure out what they were trying so hard to explain! We could see the lady paint a little and stop to ask them for more detail. When Kobe was done he walked over to us, and we still couldn't figure it out...Can you?



If you guessed Jason then you are right! Kobe was a little annoyed when he got home and saw it wasn't exactally right! Tony on the other hand I'm still not too sure what he is, but I think she did an amazing job on their faces! All the kids were walking around with such amazing designs! No two kids had the same face painting! Now that's pretty impressive! It was a fun hour and a half and then it was time to come home!

By the way, I realize I haven't been too impressive on baking lately! I have been baking weekly, but not anything out of the norm. Last night I made some box mix brownies which came out amazing, and the past weekend I made a yummy chocolate chip banana bread. I didn't get a picture of the bread beacause as you know my oven has been a little wacky, and well the bread burnt a little. However the bread was super yummy so I will pass on the link! I plan to try it out again now that our oven has been fixed!

http://www.rachaelray.com/recipe.php?recipe_id=2760