Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I have been bad with blogging again. It's not that I don't have tons of thoughts running through my mind the truth is I have way too many. Way to many thought to begin pin pointing. Way too many thoughts running through my mind to even make sense of them. You see February is coming up....where this month once just brought my birthday it now brings my daughter's birthday, and the anniversary of her death. Believe it or not I'm doing well...or the best you can be doing in a time like this. You learn how to face the days again, but the thought of big days bring about the same sadness. Currently my thoughts are filled with memories of my last moments with her in my tummy. The memories of us learning each other as I began to feel her move around more. Memories of being excited that we would soon find out what we were having and beginning to look forward to shopping and a baby shower the spring would bring. These days were never meant to be.
But you see as I live through these sad days that make my heart heavy I also have so much to look forward to. 2010 has me hopeful...I feel like this is our year. I know at some point this year we will bring home our forever baby. I have faith in us and in God that it will happen. We have put up with way too many storms and it's our turn for happiness.